Missing You

Who am I missing? I am not sure that I know. I miss Andy, I miss Grammy, I miss Me, I really miss my Dad.

I don't know who I miss the most.

Missing myself...well, I know I am still in there. I am just so tired and busy that I don't have time to think about much else. However, sometimes I catch glimpses of me that let me know I will be okay.

Missing Grammy....I know I will never stop missing Grammy. I am blank inside without her. I want to be with Papa, but sometimes it is too hard. She is such a huge part of my life that I still have a hard time understanding that I can't call her. I forget. How sick is it to forget that she has passed away? It still doesn't seem real.

Missing my Dad...This one hurts a lot. I don't know what I did. I am convinced I didn't actually do anything, but I can't be sure of that. He is so upset with me. Or is he? Sometimes I want to believe that it is just Susan making these things happen, but how could you do that to your own daughter? I need to hold him accountable for his actions.