In about 15 hours, Grammy will have been gone a year. A year ago today was the last time I ever spoke to her. I have been walking around with that on my mind all day. I don't know who to talk to about something like this. I always talked to her. I yearn to hear her voice everyday. I wish to see her standing there when I come home. For Pete's sake, we have a plant we call Grammy and our house smelled like her today. Just for a minute, but it was just like it had always been there. With us, comforting us, keeping us safe. She would think I was silly for sitting here crying. I know she is better and she isn't hurting, but I still am. I miss her, and I don't want to be selfish... but I want her with me. I can't bear to think about her, for fear this will happen. The tears will start flowing, and I won't be able to stop them. I need a friend right now, I need someone who wasn't there to hold me and let me know it will be okay. I need her.
Grammy, I miss you and can't wait to see you again. You are the most loving and wonderful person that has ever been. The world is not as good without you in it. I am doing my best to keep your spirit alive and make you proud of me. There aren't even words for how much you mean to me. I couldn't say it the right if given all the words and thousand years. I know you are with us everyday, but please stay with me tonight. Watch over my heart and put it back together while I sleep. Let me dream of you and see your bright eyes and silly smile. Let me feel your hand on cheek as I wake up in the morning. Let me hold you in hug before I wake up. Please, stay with me. I love you.
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